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My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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