The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
