I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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