I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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