Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
