is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
These tits shall not be calmed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
