Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
