Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
