She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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