What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is wine microwaveable?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
