Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you told grandpa to call you daddy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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