no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She announced her abortion via fbk
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
