Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
