A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
