Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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