maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
