I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
