Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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