well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.