u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
