I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
