we have officially lost it.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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