i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
