I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize