There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
