how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize