I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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