Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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