So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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