I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
