I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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