someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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