Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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