Buhtt sex?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
