I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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