Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
