i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The air was thick with penises
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
