If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Two words: blizzard sex
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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