dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
