NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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