just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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