do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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