It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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