i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize