she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
