I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize