i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
