i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize