Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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