Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
