U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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