if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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