u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
