I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
