Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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