you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
