im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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