you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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