found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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