talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize