I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
