I think i peed on brittanys purse
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize